Have you ever asked yourself why does a Palestinian life cost so much to save when mine costs damn near nothing to take away?
Why are these families paying these unfathomable prices for a bag of flour when mine is 2 dollars from the store down the street, sometimes even free through my neighbors helping hand.
Have you ever asked yourself why our freedom is at the control of another?
all those movies and games of living in a simulation are starting to make sense now
We are all hiding. Tucked away from reality, stuck in the safety of our bubble, fading away into the glittery stimulation of our false lives and selves.
I’m confused, I’m lost– I thought life would be more than this? Worse yet, i feel powerless
Why would anyone care or believe in what I have to say. Who’s to say I’m not psychotic, demented, or deranged.
Why do I feel like I’m taking away someone else’s air? Someone else more deserving, more hardworking. One who is deprived of all the riches I am ungratefully given because these riches–warm shelter, food, water, are seen as bare necessities.
Who am I and why do I deserve to live more than Ibrahim Aklouk
I’ve done no more right than him and probably done far more wrong, yet I am lucky to breathe this air and stand on this side of the earth that is not trembling to the ground, yet.
But the people from my community still exist — maybe I will find them, or something remotely alike throughout my lifetime
My sweet home
Every time I walk your path, I weep tears of where you used to be
Where you used to grow my mind and soul
Where you made me feel warm and loved by no one else but myself
I wouldn’t have been able to find that being anywhere else
I wouldn’t be able to learn to be that without such a whimsical nurturing space that allowed my mind and thoughts to flow and my river to overflow, allowing my seeds to grow– flourishing into big beautiful blossoming trees
Trees I initially did not have the courage to climb, but I left, then returned, and I climbed you.
Climbed you like a ladder piercing into my soul searching for my one true love in the infinite leaves and pines up in the trees
You my dear, my so sincere, my love, my heart, my beautiful green soul
My roots
My new roots I made and found
The way you make me feel so whole
I am in pieces thinking of the giant bulldozed hole left in my heart
By this university, by these unthoughtful hurtful people
Did they not know?
That they ripped my heart out and left me to bleed
Out on the table while I watched, behind the trees
I can’t believe what I witnessed
To some people it’s nothing
To some people this is so stupid, whiny, annoying, and spoiled
Shut Up
You don’t understand
You don’t understand the ever growing magic of this place
You weren’t there to feel it
And now no one can
My poor heart
My poor home
My wisdomious trees
My beautiful sun peaking through the pines but never really ever making it home
Yet, I was still so happy and content
I learned a great deal of things
Of life
Of wisdom
Because of you,
I can feel
I can think
I can process
I can understand
I can listen
I can hear
To feel you near I escape into the forest where I once used to be
To exist
To live
To breathe
They have no idea what they destroyed
I count my blessings everyday that I have been able to meet you, see you, feel you
Be you.
Your footsteps are big gashing holes inside of me but flowers will grow eventually
Tomorrow is another day. 